


Your Penis Fell Off

by CheyanneChika



Series: CheyanneChika's Sterek Week [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Library, Anatomical Models, Anatomy, Coffee, Crack, Fluff, Innuendo, Jokes, M/M, Medical, Meet-Cute, Penis jokes, Silly, Sterek Week, Sterek Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 10:49:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12529632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheyanneChika/pseuds/CheyanneChika
Summary: Derek needs to study for an anatomy exam.  It involves anatomically correct models.  Stiles is helpful and there are puns.





	Your Penis Fell Off

**Author's Note:**

> Thirty minutes late, but there were issues with trains because I was travelling all day and wifi was limited and Office 16 decided that today, they were going to push an update so I couldn't open Word.

If anyone was to ask Derek Hale how he was getting through his insane course load at medical school, he would say it was a solid regime of study, good sleep patterns and general smarts.

This is why no one asked him.

In reality, he was drinking six cups of coffee in the morning, two energy drinks at lunch and during afternoon classes, four to six more cups of coffee or expresso shots after dinner and maybe four hours of sleep when he crashed.

This regime got him through the second quarter of second year.  The third quarter had this massive anatomy exam.  It basically boiled down to memorizing every aspect of male and female genitalia, or drop out.  Everyone in his year in the medical school was living in the library and sitting a hundred feet from the circulation desk in case your name came up on the waiting list for anatomical models to study with.

Derek was, like every other student, dreading the day before the test, when the anatomy lab would close in order to prep for the test and then the only anatomical models one could look at without buying them for $500 were the ones in the library.  Most students got into groups to study so that they could have the models as long as possible but Derek wasn’t great at talking to other people…or not scaring other people.

Derek finally got his hands on a couple models around 8:00 PM.  He settled himself with them and yet another coffee.  At this point, he’d been awake and studying or going to class for a little over thirty-six hours. 

The coffee went very quickly as he glowered at the important aspects of male anatomy on a plastic model on one stand while he loaned the female pelvis to a boy sitting next to him.  He couldn’t after all, look at both at once.

He was so tired.  He reached for his coffee but it was empty and he couldn’t leave to get more. 

He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep but there was a rude finger prodding the back of his head.  He opened his eyes and found the penis part of the model he was looking at had been reattached to the rest of the model upside-down, making it look painfully erect.

“You’re penis fell off,” the person poking him said.

Derek twitched and scrubbed at his face. 

“Don’t worry though, I stuck it back on.”

He frowned and looked up.  A slender boy with dark hair and amber eyes was grinning broadly at him.  “Also, your penis is way overdue and the librarians want it.”

He looked pointedly at the circulation desk where two female employees were looking rather annoyed with him.

“They can’t have it.  I need to study.”  Derek growled as he righted himself and was back to looking at the model.  A glance at where his other model had been showed that, while it was still there, an entirely different student was looking at it.

“No, you need to sleep,” the boy said. 

“I can’t.”

“You’re hands are shaking.”

Derek looks down and fuck.  His hands are trembling.  No sleep, insane amounts of caffeine that was cut off abruptly…he was probably in the middle of withdrawal.  Fantastic.

“I’m Stiles, by the way, student worker.  I’m supposed to wake you up and take back the models so non-sleeping students can use them, Derek.”

“How do you know my name?” Derek asked, still trying to focus, wake up, and get caffeine to halt the withdrawal long enough to get through tomorrow morning’s test.

“I work for the library, your name is on the receipt.  Now come on, you need to find a more comfortable spot to rest.  I’ll put the penis back.”

Derek rolled his eyes.  “Thank you.”  He got up, moved to a comfy chair that had literally just been vacated and slumped into it.  He needed more coffee but he honestly didn’t think he could get all the way to the cafeteria.  He closed his eyes, just for a minute.

…

“Good morning!” Stiles voice was chipper and Derek snapped upright and nearly fell out of the chair.  “I have a penis for you!”  Derek’s eyes bugged wide open.  Stiles was there, holding anatomical models for him.  “Also a vagina, but that’s not as funny.”  A glance at the huge windows that overlook Faculty Parking showed blinding sunlight.  It was apparently morning now.  Shit.

“Don’t worry,” Stiles said, following Derek’s gaze.  “The exam is in two hours.  I was first in line to get these.” As the two models were set down on the table, Derek noticed the penis was still pointedly erect.  Stiles sat across from him, grinning and holding out coffee.  Derek took it and sipped blissfully.  There were at least two shots of expresso in it and all Derek could do was say, “Thank you.”  He yawned widely and downed half the coffee. 

“You’re welcome.  I’m also here to help you study.”

“Don’t you have a job?” Derek was pretty sure the guy had said he was a student worker.

“I’m off the clock.”

“Then don’t you have to study?” he tried again.  After all, he was the one who had checked out the models.

Stiles smirked a bit.  “Nope.”

Derek’s heavy eyebrows drew together.  Then that meant Stiles had gotten those models for him at seven in the morning just to be nice.

“I’m in Psych,” Stiles continued, unaware of Derek’s shock that anyone would care that he needed to study.  “I don’t have to study all the squishy bits, aside from that big, beautiful, squishy—” He paused as Derek’s eyes narrowed, though he was still trying to figure out Stiles’ motives. “—Brain. I was going to say brain.”

The kid was completely guileless, it seemed.  He didn’t need help from Derek, he was just a nice person.  It was surprising and all Derek could do was smile softly.  It had been a long time since he’d had a study partner and he found that maybe this one would be useful, especially if he provided coffee and study tools.  Derek glanced back at the model and its still upside-down protrusion.  “Nothing squishy about that,” he said, almost without thinking.

Stiles cackled and picked up a study sheet.  “Psych and Medical should work together more often.  Now get to work.  You’re going to need it.”

Derek did manage to pass. 

He also got Stiles’ number. 

The end

**Author's Note:**

> This is based entirely on the jokes we librarians make in health professions libraries. All the puns. Literally, all of them.


End file.
